[	mood	|	anxious	]
[	music	|	The Higher - Diaries	]

So i didnt even realize I had a live journal. I think i totally forgot but its pretty sick to look at some of the gay shit I wrote... like really gay shit.... like totally gay. I was such a little bitch its not even funny. I had to block some of my posts b/c i was pethetic. At the same time its cool to see where my head was at back in the day. I changed so much, Im nowhere near the same person I was. If i were someone else reading my shit I would think that person to be a totally loser. Whatever, tis cool cuz I dont regret anything ive ever done.

So... my life starts now

Its "ohsix" that bring me here

I havent been this excited in awhile and I think its the first step to being truely happy. For awhile ive thought about what I want to do with my life. Ive been alittle blah for the past year and im sure a few people can hear me on that. Its not easy going to school and working especially when you feel pressured especially if you belong to my family. My parents have big expectations for me and I feel like im being forced to do something when my head is somewhere totally else. When I try and think about what makes me truely happy it always comes up to that same spot. Ever since I was a small youngin I was very involved with music. It seems to be the only consistant thing that puts a smile on my face. I come to realize what matters most to me and it has been the norms of society that kept me from doing what I really want to do. Im picking a lifestyle that would seem unrealistic for some people but the worlds gonna end in the end anyway and i want to experience life to its fullest. I dont want to look back and say "I wish I could of done that" so this is where I stand. Its not like I cant do whats normal like getting a steady job after college but I choose not to. Im sure everyone has dreams of becoming rich but for me materialistic objects dont mean anything.  Id rather do what my heart tells me and be happy with what Im doing.  Being happy to me means:  playing music, traveling, meeting new people and experiencing life with someone who sees the same things I see and dream of.... my best friend mr white.  For the people who dont understand or look down upon what Im going to do,  means you dont understand the passion I have for what makes me content.  Im taking a break from school to put my full effort into making a life for myself.  I dont have a single doubt but if it doesnt work out Ill do what I need to do.  I dont think it could of worked out any better.  And as for now I dont have anything or anyone to distract me.  Its my life and I know whats in store...and if I fail then its my problem.  Thank you to all my friends who support me that Ive talked to.  Lets make '06 a good one.

at the end of each of my entries all most likely post some shit i write

Fall ways to the noise of

Hurry up and wait, say nothing

We were once what we don’t know and now I know

Hope moves onto getting me now

And where we leave out what they say counts

So try and feel as if you have control

We were ment for seas and cities

And when they cant hear anymore

Might you find me in song

You’re long on before everyone

May it no longer build it if it comes

Do it enough, enough to stand

But notice enough to care